It was a miracle really, not that I should have expected anything less than that. I had 23 reais in my purse (about 12 dollars). I carefully weighed in my mind which grocery items would be the best buy, make the most meals, etc. At the register I had my two or three items I held back to the end, thinking I would have to leave them behind. She rang up one and then another and then another and then I stood blinking at the total: 22.77! Once again I was floored at how God pays attention to the smallest details in our life and I set out on the walk home praising God for his faithfulness once again in my life.
Our future ministry plans look like a blank slate to us. We are open and willing to be used how God wants to use us, but as of yet, he hasn't let us in on the details. Honestly, I have no anxious feelings or thoughts, I know WHO controls the universe. I have no doubt that he has the perfect plan in mind and that in his perfect time and will, he will show us the next step to take.
No, my problem lies in the five short hours after my grocery story miracle when the
dishes
pile
high
and four squirrely kids aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing and the eyes bulge and hair stands on end and I am begging God for help.
Is this my calling?
I feel completely and totally inadequate!
Wouldn't I be of better use ministering to the street people?
And then the phone rings and it is my mom with just the encouragement I need and the reminders I need that YES indeed this is my calling and it is a worthy one. Yes it is exhausting and I feel inadequate most moments, but HE is able to get me through, one dish at a time, one diaper at a time, one squirrely moment at a time.
1 comment:
Great thoughts, kiddo!!! I sometimes wonder if God has any similar thoughts about us! He does not waste even the surely times - but He usually doesn't let us know that until much later. I can hardly wait till we are face-to-face with Him and have all of our questions answered. But then, once there, will we care about that even?!
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